Have you ever wondered why people get married? Ever pondered over the purpose it was intended to serve? Though I am not yet at the point where I am considered a veteran of marriage, God is constantly opening my understanding to marriage’s meaning and purpose and how to gain success at it. Neither I nor my husband had good examples of marriage growing up. Unfortunately, there are many who can relate. We’re striving everyday that our son will never have to say that; but it takes hard work. I’m talking blood, sweat and tears hard work at times. Don’t be alarmed. It is also beautiful and a measure of God’s grace.
I want to share with you a few things God has taught me Now, I am speaking from the perspective of God’s design for marriage; not from any negative experience I have been through or heard of that has redefined marriage. Neither am I addressing every negative scenario that is possible in marriage. I encourage everyone to pray and be led by God in all of your decisions and willingly obey what He says. Ok, so let’s chat!
See the Big PICTURE
I never realized there was a great purpose for marriage. Like most people, I believed it was for living happily ever after with someone you truly loved and believed would make a great life partner. And this is true; companionship is indeed a well known purpose. However, I have a few more I’d like to fill you in on. God instituted marriage and family. His greatest objective for it is for us to reflect the gospel by being conformed into the image of Christ. Let’s break that down- marriage as God intended will cause us to become more like Jesus. It also helps us to comprehend the relationship He has with His church. The church being the bride of Christ or otherwise believers. (Ephesians 5:25-27). This is one reason why hard, trying times come. It is not to take us out and cause divorce and broken homes.
If we trust and depend on God and hang in there coping with our spouse will allow God to develop and strengthen qualities within us that please Him. Qualities that are akin to His nature; like true love- able to love even when one of you are not worthy of it. We sin yet Christ still loves us. (Because love is a choice not a feeling.) Or mercy, compassion and selflessness,- where we don’t hold faults against each other and are able to understand how the other feels or what struggles they may be having. Ths is whether your husband is doing right or not. We never consider the fact that we also took the same vows before God. God said He hates divorce and we must hate it too. What if He divorced us when we did wrong? Through this we become better husbands and wives. If our husbands were perfect and never created that challenge for us, how would we develop these attributes. We wouldn’t develop patience if he always did everything when and how we asked. Mercy wouldn’t be cultivated if he never did anything to wrong us in some way. ( In marriage we wrong each other at times). So God uses this to work His will within us. Another intent is to raise up children that will love and serve God. So in order to do that our marriages need to be Godly, healthy and unified.
Light in our Dark World
Our marriage should show the world the love that Jesus has for His people. This is done as we exemplify the love of Christ with one another. Another reason for marriage is for the two lovebirds to fulfill the will of God. Two is better than one. It’s a partnership. So in marriage we are to work together to carry out God’s plan for our lives. We are to help one another grow and become more like Christ. That is God’s will. We’re to serve and reach out to others as witnesses for Christ. That’s God’s will. If we learn to fight for our marriages, and not tuck tail and run, then growth and maturity, naturally and spiritually, will come. We have to depend on God to see us through in order for this to occur. Then when others see our marriages they see the unconditional true love of Christ shown to one another, they see the unrelenting commitment He made, they understand mercy, grace and forgiveness and why He never gives up on us. Therefore, we are reflecting the image of God, that those who don’t know Him may find Him through us. That is a great purpose!
Ignorance is Not Bliss
The sad truth is often times marriage is entered into without adequate knowledge and understanding of what it really is. Just as my husband and I did. Because of this we fight against God’s design. Ladies we often take up defense against being submissive wives. I did at one point as well. This is because of the many nasty little rumors buzzing. Like the one about a woman’s place being in the kitchen. We shouldn’t hold jobs. Or did you believe the one about submissive wives being dominated and walked over by their husbands? Let me interrupt myself here to say submissive is not passive. Allow me to lay these rumors to rest. They’re not true. This is not what God had in store for us. And we need to put a nail in that coffin of lies. Remember we must view marriage from the perspective of God’s design. Not based off of our parents marriage, our friends marriage etc… The goal for our marriages should be God’s design.
Want to know what’s next? In part 2 I will touch on how the roles work in tandem to create a beautiful marriage and family. I’ll also send some encouragement to my single ladies! Remember everything God made is good!
Until next time!
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