Hey ladies! Let’s continue with part 2 of our discussion on marriage. If you missed part 1 just click here . I last mentioned God’s design should be our ultimate goal for our marriage. He knows best right? Right! So, His design delegating the man as the head and the woman as the submissive help meet establishes order in the home. Let’s consider these two examples of order. In a kitchen you have the Head Chef and then your second in command is the sous chef and following is the kitchen staff. Order. In any properly ran business there is one boss who keeps things running as they should. They answer to the owner or the CEO and also delegate or set rules as given. This set up maintains order so that everyone knows who to look to for what, and every worker there operates in the position they have been given. The result is a prosperous and efficiently operated company. This mimics God’s design for family.
The worst job to work is one where everybody is telling everybody what to do. Too many chefs in the kitchen. There is no order and therefore things do not operate efficiently. No one would know who to listen to. Some rules are bound to contradict others. On top of this confusion you would have some workers who would refuse to listen to anyone else. Nothing could get accomplished? How could anyone expect to work together? It just doesn’t work — not at work and not in our homes.
These examples are patterned after God’s design for our marriages and homes. My husband isn’t to dominate me. We work together. We’re partners in life. I’m the sous chef helping the head chef to carry out what we both desire which is what God desires. We have a common goal and are not in competition as our responsibilities are not the same. In a marriage you listen to each other, you advise one another. The wife does have a voice. The husband is who God acknowledges as the head. (Why does the man have to be the head? Well, that is the design of our sovereign God. He said it would be that way and so that is the way it must be). The husband is required to seek God for the vision and direction for the family. He heads up the operations in other words. And beside the husband is his wife. Who is not there to take over his role but to perform her role excellently as his help meet. This way the family operates efficiently and in the will of God. Order.
The husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave his life for it. If a husband loves his wife this way why would she have a problem standing beside him and helping him? Why would there be a problem respecting and honoring him? I can say there absolutely would not be. Of course there are those who point out that most men don’t do this and they’re this and that. But it’s also important that we look at God’s standard for us as wives and see where we have measured up against that. (Proverbs 31). We may not be so quick to point the finger after that. Fact is the requirements of God are high. Which is why none of us could meet them without His Spirit living in us and helping us. So we have to understand that our spouse isn’t perfect and neither are we. I encourage you to operate the way God has called us to. Perform in your wife role as God instructs you too. Only great things will come from it. One great thing being a happy and unified marriage. You cannot go wrong doing things God’s way. Just trust Him. Your husband’s behavior will never be an excuse for you not to strive to do all God requires of you.
Single ladies, I encourage you to find out about marriage before taking that step. Not that you won’t get married but so that you know what you are entering into. Do not go into it blind. Marriage is a covenant, a sacred bond. This is why it was not designed for divorce to be an option. The vows mean something. I find it interesting when someone writes their own vows consisting of poetic words about how they feel and completely lacking of even one true promise or vow. Until death do us part. This means forever and then forever again before we ever separate. Covenant.
Once we enter into this covenant we have a responsibility to never break it. It’s more than just a piece of paper with a signature. On the wedding day no one knows what the next year to 50 plus years will be like. But regardless of their outcome you still made the vow, you still entered into the covenant.Some of you are afraid of marriage, but don’t be. When done right it is a beautiful thing. At the same time, however, it is still life which has its ups and downs, good and bad times, happy and sad moments. It is not a fairytale. Happiness is invaluable. So not even money can buy true happiness. Marriage will be what you and your husband make it. It takes a lot of effort and hard work and prayer. That hard work includes self denial, compromise, talking things out, overlooking shortcomings, asking for forgiveness, accepting and appreciating differences, forgiving, change, and the right prayers etc… You’re building a life together. If you want it to stand in the end put in the hard work and be sure and start on the right foundation.. Christ.
Remember God made marriage and EVERYTHING He made was and is good! Let the bible guide you in marriage, not your opinions or feelings. Once we get clarity of the purpose for it then we better understand how it works, what our role is and therefore have a greater chance for success.
I hope I have done that in part with this post. My purpose is to cause you to delve more into it and learn of it before you say I Do or I no longer Do!
Was this post helpful or insightful? Do you have any questions? Any marriage advice? I love to hear your comments so please share with me!